I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
