Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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