the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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