Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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