My room smells like vodka and shame
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
