Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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