im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I intend to get homeless drunk
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
