Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
