She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize