I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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