mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
