i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
