your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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