Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This girl is more easily done than said...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
