He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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