i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
