i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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