She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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