he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
