You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
