All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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