Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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