he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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