She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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