Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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