You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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