can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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