Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
