Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
