I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
