Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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