I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
