john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
