I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
