i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
