walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
