it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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