ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
