My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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