She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
