I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
