wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
