i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize