i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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