Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize