I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We're too hungover to prance.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
