We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
