shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
