He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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