I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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