So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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