Girls should come with a carfax report
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
