Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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