yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
