no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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