I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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