That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
