I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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