Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He did a backflip because drugs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
