Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
