I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
