She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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